Papa Bear Awards 2017


List of Eligible Quotes


And you may vote for as many as you want!

Note: the numbers listed are purely to make it easier for you. They have no value at all.





Another change of the channel.

TV, the digital frontier, I mused. These are the voyages of the U.S.S. Flatscreen…

Said by: narrator

Story: It’s Almost Over: 2016

Author: 80sarcades



"Colonel! It's the plot bunny! He's escaped!"
"Impossible! No one escapes from Stala... What am I saying?"
Said by: Carter and Hogan
Story: There is No Such Thing as One Rabbit
Author: konarciq

"Colonel Klink has fallen down the well!"
Hogan stared at the man, figuring that in this universe, Lassie needed to lose weight.
Said by: Schultz and narrator
Story: Well, that Escalated Quickly

Author: Danzinora Switch



"Gee, a guy tries to be a good enemy and we end up doing the Krauts a favor."
Said by: Hogan
Story: General Kinchmeyer's Command
Author: Book 'em Again



  “Goodnight, dad.”

            Hogan looked to see if Newkirk had come in the room behind him, 

but the Englishman was not there, so Lizzy must be addressing him.

            His chest did that funny thing again.  

Said by: Lizzy and narrator

Story: Kids Say the Darndest Things

Author: SamRosinenbomber



He thought back over the crazy events of the last couple of days.

If he was going to end up killing one of his mates, he wanted to make sure he killed the right one…

Said by: Newkirk (as narrator)

Story: Bottom’s Up!

Author: katbybee



Hogan was quite proud of his cover story for Klink, that Carter had fallen victim to a latent case of North Dakota sleeping sickness.

He even convinced Klink that South Dakota's sole purpose was to make sure

North Dakota's populace didn't all fall asleep while smoking in bed and set the state on fire.

Said by: narrator

Story: He Ain't Heavy

Author: M. Vernet



"How are you so good at this? You ought to be too small."
"I've never been too small for anything."
Said by: Newkirk and LeBeau
Story: Nine Reasons to Live
Author: Thaddeus McChuzzlewit

"How many times do I have to tell you?

There will be no killing in my café. I can't afford to drive away any customers.

If you want to kill Germans, you must do so on your own time."
Said by: René Artois
Story: Allo, Hogan
Author: Book 'em Again

“I can hear your heart beating.

And I swear to you all of our hearts will still be beating when the war is done.

The eagles will fly into the dawn.”

Said by: Carter

Story: I Will Hear Your Heart

Author: M. Vernet



"If it was raining soup, I'd only have a fork."

Said by: Newkirk

Story: Ennui

Author: Snooky-9093


"If this continues much longer,

I could be the first Allied officer to commit Hari Kari by Pickelhaub."
Said by: Hogan
Story: Ennui
Author: Snooky-9093

“I may still die, but I can do so in a clean uniform.”

Said by: Klink

Story: 1916

Author: Goldleaf83



 “I still think it makes you look like an old man.”

“Better an old man than a Frenchman.”


Said by: LeBeau and Newkirk

Story: Friendly Fire

Author: PsychUOut



"It's like that saying Schultzie taught me, 'The fish starts stinking at the head.'

I know the Germans like him and all, but he's not a good guy,

and if you ain't got a good guy in charge, what hope have ya got, win the war or not?"

Said by: Carter

Story: A Little Bit of Honesty Goes a Long, Long Way

Author: 96 Hubbles



"Newkirk, today I watched a simple plan spiral into a riot,

handled an explosion with my jacket, helped the kommandant out of the well, and gave a dog the Heimlich.

It's not even 10. My point is: don't ever let me let you take Klink's boots again."

Said by: Hogan

Story: Well, that Escalated Quickly

Author: Danzinora Switch



"Next guy who thinks it's funny to put on a red shirt and go on a recon mission can go jump off a cliff!"

Said by: someone in Barracks Two

Story: Mission Author Redirect Part 2: The Writer's Curse

Author: Sophia Villo



“No. We’re not going to put him together with another bunny.

That’s not asking for trouble – that’s pleading for trouble.”

Said by: Hogan

Story: There is No Such Thing as One Rabbit

Author: konarciq



"Now I'm off to do the easy work of today.

Talk the Krauts into releasing Carter, talk a Cockney thief out of being an arsonist,

and talk a disgruntled crew of misfits into not being quite a misfitted as usual. Easy stuff."
Said by: Hogan
Story: When You're Having a Bad Day
Author: willlwrite4fics

“Our barracks, sir? They’ve never been in our barracks, sir.

It’s forbidden for coloreds to share a barracks with whites.”

Said by: Carter

Story: It’s All Just a Dream?

Author: Glossina



“Remember President Klink’s famous slogan? ‘Don’t think, vote Klink!’”

Said by: Megan Riley

Story: It’s Almost Over: 2016

Author: 80sarcades



"Schultz, I give you my word as a gentleman, an officer,

and most importantly, as an enemy. I will not escape."

Said by: Hogan

Story: The Heroes, the Defector and the Factory

Author: L.E. Wigman



"That's why I have this complaint about the paint being eaten off my staff car,

when one of your men poured a bucket of homemade vodka over the hood."
"Well, it does look like water, sir … it's an understandable mistake."
"It was on fire at the time, Hogan."
Said by: Klink and Hogan
Story: Unruly POWs Will Not Be Tolerated
Author: willwrite4fics



“The hard part was digging them out and giving the General the breath of life.

Yuk. Don’t ever taste a General if you don’t have to.”

Said by: Carter

Story: Can’t Tell a Sergeant by his Stripes

Author: M. Vernet



"The water has broken through the fourth wall."

Said by: Olsen

Story: Ennui

Author: Snooky-9093



  Unbeknownst to Hogan, the other POWs were… well, they weren’t exactly ‘awed’ or ‘amazed’, per se.

Maybe ‘unpleasantly surprised’ was a better description.

Said by: narrator

Story: Where Did You Learn to Caterwaul Like That – Uh, Sir?

Author: Winterfrost15



  “When you go to serve that ball, just imagine it’s Hochstetter’s face.”

Said by: Kinch

Story: Coming into the Light

Author: Basketballgirl Kaitlin



"You ignored the primary rule of pranksters, Robbie."
"What's that?"
"Don't get caught."
Said by: Jack and young Robbie Hogan
Story: 1916
Author: Goldleaf83

Closing date for sending in your votes:


Friday, April 7th, 2017








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